25 -Back at the Start

Ryan got back and I filled him in on the day. He went through the emotions I had and I told him about the phone call with mum. Let’s go – I’d said.

I checked my bank and I had £90 in there. As mum promised.

Thanks mum. I thought, and I meant it. Her heart was in the right place, but she just didn’t have the money to do anything else.

She’d advised me to buy a camping stove, and a kettle. And whatever else I wanted.

‘ Make sure you’re okay’ she’d said.

I was in the camping aisle now, and fuck me it was all so expensive. I found a tiny camping stove, and a cheap kettle.
We found some mugs, a red one for Ryan, and a spotty one for me – and until Ryans broke a year ago, we still used them!
We bought teabags, and sugar. And UHT milk.

We bought tins of things that we cold actually heat up, and even treated ourselves to some bread. We bought some chocolate bars too and then played a game to see who could buy the most amount of chocolate for a quid.

I bought another pouch of tobacco, and we charged the phone again.

We walked around the home aisles, and I picked out what I would and wouldn’t buy, and Ryan would do the same – both of us elated when we liked the same stuff ! Ha

I played the game a lot when Ryan was at work, and would pass the time adding up the cost of it all, until it would depress me that I’d never afford it all in one go.

We bought it all and had money left over, so headed back to the car. Ready for a cup of tea.

‘ Gutted about my iPod’ Ryan said
‘ I’m so sorry. If I’d have known Mum would ring I’d never have done it !’
‘ It’s ok – I’d have done the same. And I did say you could. I’m just gutted’

We drank our tea and Ryan explained about his wages. They were a month in hand remember ? He’ll get the full amount next month….

So we were back at the start…

It was demoralising, upsetting and generally shit. But what else could we do but get through it ?

Another 28 days to go…..


This is the exact spot we ‘lived’. Although when we were there it was overgrown and bushy. Ironically I think they are building houses there now…

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