Since moving the car we had decided not to drive it over to the industrial estate anymore. It would save our petrol and would mean we’d be out the way in the daytime.
Poor Ryan would be up even earlier then, and would walk a good two miles to the depot. His work provided uniform, so he was given a pair of steel toe cap boots – but he’d done so much walking in them that they’d gotten holes in – so he needed another pair.
I felt safer now I was off the road, so would sleep in until about 9am. It was one of those mornings, when I was woken up by two dogs running around the car.
I peered out the wing mirrors and spotted an elderly woman nearby. She was grumbling as she got closer and I just caught the end of what she was saying.
‘….. Disgusting. How disgusting is this…!’
She was looking at the rubbish strewn in the hedges nearby, there was all sorts about the place but I hadn’t really given it much thought.
It wasn’t us that was throwing rubbish into the shrubs and trees – infact it gave me something to do to take our rubbish over to the Tesco and I’d use their bins. So I’d collect anything that needed chucking.
I put two and two together and realised she was blaming me for the litter.
She was still grumbling away, not giving me any eye contact and calling me vile.
I tried to get her to look at me but she realised I could hear her and started to walk off.
Well I saw red.
She didn’t know what it was like, to be blamed for things that weren’t us, to be tarred with the same brush as anyone else that lurked around here.
I hadn’t littered, and I definitely didn’t need some silly old bint telling me I was disgusting.
I FELT disgusting. I didn’t get breakfast, or a cup of tea in the mornings. All I had was warm bottled water and no shower. I couldn’t even wash my face or hands unless I did it in the disabled loos. And sometimes the state of those were so bad I couldn’t bring myself to do it then.
She had clean clothes on, whereas mine were stale and smelt. My hair was greasy, my face was greasy. I felt ashamed, and I felt like I didn’t belong in the real world now – I didn’t need anyone else to tell me how bad to feel, because I felt bad enough.
‘Excuse me ?!’ I called over to her.
She was making her way to the bushy pathway – it’s a small mud track, and it’s covered by the bushes so you disappear from view once in it.
She was ignoring me. I was only two metres away.
I got out the car. Anger was coursing through me now.
‘ EXCUSE ME !!!!!!’ I yelled at her.
She trotted faster, and her dumb dogs followed her – she was mumbling quietly now but I could get the gist of it. She thought I was disgusting, and now she thought I was volatile.
‘ I DIDNT THINK SO!!’ I raged
‘ WANT TO SAY IT A BIT LOUDER DO YOU ? OR HOW ABOUT TO MY FACE !!!!’
She was gone down the track but I was following her – there was only one direction she could go.
‘ YOU CANT SAY IT TO ME CAN YOU ? HORRID OLD BAG !!!’
I heard a mumble through the dark bushes.
‘ SHUT UP !!’ SHUT YOUR FACE !!’
I ran down the pathway now, tripping over the exposed roots. God she had better be out of my sight….!
I got to the end, and into the Fairy Field.
I looked around but she’d disappeared. Suddenly what had happened hit me, and I put my hand over my mouth.
I just shouted at an old lady.
And she was a little old lady too.
That’s someone’s granny – I thought.
I’m definitely going to Hell.