I was watching Celebrity Big Brother the other night, and like most people I was shocked when I heard Christopher Biggins’ comments about bisexuals .
This something that is so common, no one thinks it’s a problem.
These days, if you have clear outspoken homophobic views then generally, people will call you out for it. Being gay is being accepted and yet I find that being bisexual isn’t.
And more upsetting is that a lot of bi-phobic comments come from people that fall under the LGBT umbrella… These are people that most likely have experienced some homophobia personally, and so should understand the frustration of people not accepting you for who you are.
These are people that should always be an ally to me, and yet cast me out as an imposter. As a bisexual female, Iv experienced more hurtful comments from people I considered friends and allies than anyone else.
During my teens I was confused about my sexuality, as a lot of younger gay people are. And assumed that as I had feelings for another girl that I must be ‘ a lesbian’.
Taking a girl home to meet my parents was thankfully, a happy experience – my parents accepted me and were just happy that I was happy.
Fast forward a year or two and I found myself single again, but a little bit wiser. I knew I still fancied women, but found that I didn’t feel the same as my lesbian counterparts – who felt men as a whole were unappealing.
Whilst enjoying being single I found my favourite part was getting to know people as people not as their gender. I have, and always did, fall in love with people’s personalities primarily.
While my straight friends would spot a group of lads and see them as potential partners, I would hang back, bored of being expected to enjoy a mans company just because I was a female.
The same experience was mirrored when I hung out with my lesbian friends which often left me to entertain myself instead of pairing up, just because I was expected to.
As I became more comfortable with my own sexuality, I couldn’t help but notice that other people weren’t. People would demand a label for me, because liking people for who they were rather than what they were just wasn’t good enough.
Any time the topic of relationships came up, there always seemed to be someone who would make fun of my relationships with women, and scoff at my relationships with men – assuming that now as I have settled down with someone who happens to be male that I’m heterosexual, and that my past should be forgotten about.
On the other hand, I found some people would try and reason with ME about how gay I am, based on relationships with women compared to men – as though should they be unequal then I must be more or less straight/gay.
Telling me I was confused but thankfully they would help me figure it all out.
‘I might be bisexual, and I might be confused – but those things are absolutely not related.’ – Me, about Life.
Luckily for me, I’m not confused about my sexuality.
I have met the love of my life – who just happens to be male. But had he been female my feelings would have remained the same.
I am part of the LGBT crew, even if sometimes it feels I am crew-less.
I am not greedy, or any less monogamous, or unsure, or into swinging. I am not ‘half gay and half straight’.
I am a whole person, and I have whole feelings.
And that’s why, when people with such influence like Christopher Biggins give out the message that Bi-sexuality is not valid – I have to say sorry pal – but you are 100% wrong.