Depression, the silent killer

Suicide is the biggest killer of British men under 40, did you know that ?

Nothing else is killing our men more – If suicide was seen as a disease, then this would be an epidemic. And yet what is being done about it ? What support is there for our men ?

Recently there has been more awareness of Depression, more people standing up and saying ‘ I have depression, and I’m not ashamed..’

But still – thousands of men are suffering in silence.

Until recently one of those men was my future husband. My soul mate. My daughters Daddy. 13336430_1368247309859146_1668391666_n

After months of to-ing and fro-ing I convinced him to see a Doctor.    I went with him for support, and I’m glad I did. 

It was obvious after explaining quite clearly how Ryan was feeling – that this doctor believed all he needed was a good nights sleep and to ‘just get on with it.

Firstly – a symptom of depression is broken sleep. Ryan couldn’t get to sleep at night, but come morning wouldn’t want to get out of bed.

Secondly how deflating…. All those weeks of me promising that this would help, that he would be supported after this visit and the Quack is an Arsehole.

It wasn’t the end though. I persisted. We went again after I requested to see a different person. The next Doctor was a wonderwoman. She immediately asked what Ryan wanted to do – any form of treatment he was after in particular..
He wasn’t sure so she wrote a prescription for Anti-D’s. Gave him a website to look through at night if he couldn’t sleep. But most importantly – she spoke to him. Listened to him. Understood him.

It was a huge help in his recovery. It finally felt like that dark cloud of ‘Men under 40…. Suicide….. Depression…..’ That had been looming over us for weeks was finally clearing.

Not all men have that support though. When the cloud of depression appears it can make you feel that you are a burden on your loved ones, that no one could understand you. That you are wasting anyone’s time talking about your problems. Your worries. Your life. They might be let down by their doctor, they may need someone to take the strain off, to show them that they are there.

If there’s one thing anyone reading this should do today, it’s reach out to your men. Your brothers, your best friends, your boyfriends or husbands. It could make a world of difference .


Useful links :

About suicidal feelings –

Helpline for young men, through CALM – 0800 58 58 58

Symptoms of depression –



One thought on “Depression, the silent killer

  1. Hi G thank you for writing this piece, your diction is amazing. I couldn’t have put it better myself, I love the way you are able to really put down in writing your fears, frustration, emotion and complete dedication to your on going situation. We have a very similar situation and it is draining and sometimes frustrating. Especially for me when I think I’m helping and feel so useless when my caring words and advice, (which I now know through reading and lots of research do not help always.) so I have been very patient and gently suggest actions we can take. It has taken along time in my case as its not a new problem, it’s an old one that has never really been addressed due to incompetent doctors, and slipping through the net. However, we now are on the road to recovery at long last. We are so happy together and have a great life in Cornwall this place is my spiritual home too. John has his art ( loads of finished canvases which are fab. Hopefully I have found somewhere he might actually be able to sell them. Of course they are never good enough! Another symptom of this difficult illness. Polpero seems to have come up trumps as I spoke to a lovely lady and she wants to see his work, I’m hoping this will help in his recovery, as he always feels guilty about not looking after me properly and has fears I will leave him, never he is my soul mate. He worries about me working too hard and keeping us, I tell him that I do it for us and that makes me happy.

    Any how, enough of me, a masive thanks again this post really helped me.
    I apologise if I went on for too long. Have so much more to say.
    A small synopsis of my feelings.
    Love and big hugs to you all.
    Be strong, stick together, love each other as if it was your last day, laugh a lot, and smile every morning you wake up and breath in that Cornish air and beauty, we are the fortunate ones 😄😄😄😄
    Love Lynn xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

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